Truck Guys are Hot
Oil Slick
Because your truck has 5 billion lumen headlights, a lift kit, 4 seats, and a tiny bed, I can't see shit when you pull up behind me.
Because of your truck, I and many other people who drive a normal car hate you. I regularly devise ways in my head to make your truck die.
My best theoretical ideas so far:
A secondary mirror under my main mirror to direct the light back at your eyes.
A light bar that flashes like a camera flash, but powerful enough to blind you and make you crash and blow up on the freeway.
A little water gun that sprays industrial strength paint remover on your hood.
Donkey Kong sized barrel of oil to let loose behind me.
Brake checking you and ruining possibly both of our lives in a roadside brawl.
Of course I'd never actually do any of these things, FBI. I'm actually a really chill guy once you get to know me.
I am a bitch.
Man-culture is beautiful. It's very simple, and easy to follow.
Gun, smoked meat, women are confusing, UFC, anti-liberal in public settings (possible ostracizing), gay joke, car.
Speak out of line with the rules, and become a liability to the tribe. That's where women and gays end up; on the shit end of the dick. Nobody wants to be there, so keep up that façade.
Also everyone love everyone, man. That's what it's all about - 311 and beers and good times.
Also killing any cyclist in your head while driving because they're gay and cause traffic jams.
Also never letting a quiet moment last too long. The soul deserves mind altering drugs, as Joe Rogan has taught us.
Also global warming is the biggest lie the left has ever spoon fed the sheep of America. Oil has never been the cause of anything ever, and how do you expect anyone to get to work? Horse and buggy? Get real you wimp.
It's the immigrants. It's women killing their unborn. It's LGBT flooding our kids' schools with the woke mind virus. It's gun laws. It's anti-meat propaganda to weaken the muscles of American uber-soldiers.
CANT YOU SEE? - WE'RE IN THE END TIMES. IT'S ALL COMING CRASHING DOWN.
AMERICAN SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT IS BEING KILLED FROM THE INSIDE.
HURRY UP AND BUY A TRUCK.
LIBERALS AND TERRORISTS AND IMMIGRANTS AND TOYOTA TACOMA AND FAKE NEWS AND TRUMP AND SYRIA AND CHEVY SILVERADO AND PEDOPHILES AND TARIFFS AND EGG PRICES AND 4CHAN AND CALIFORNIA AND FORD RAPTOR AND AI AND PORN ADDICTION AND 10 HOUR WORK DAYS AND CHINA AND STOCK BETTING AND
...
This amount of shit is too much for a normal person to handle. I don't blame a single man for retreating into his circle due to stress.
I hope for the day that an equilibrium is reached, and everyone simultaneously realizes that we all want the same thing:
A place to stay, a friend to talk to, and free time to decompress.
If the chief executive pig fuckers actually allow it; lest more Luigis begin to spawn.
Actual Journal
Feeling okay today. Mondays are never fantastic, but things have calmed down and I'm about ready to pack up and go home.
Went to Japan again a few months ago, and got some evil flu while over there. After the sickness, it was awesome to see the countryside. Farms over there are scenic.
I really liked Fushimi Inari - all the kitsune statues were very intense and angry looking; it was bad ass.
Japan rocks, but I'll only go back again if I'm semi fluent in the language. A lot is missed when you're a goofy looking tourist and can't speak anything past gomen nasai.
I got home to a fuckin dirty ass house. Past the point of depression. It was actually gross. The worst part is I'm not sure if it's just been like that and I just noticed because I've been gone, or if it truly just got that bad.
My room mates are gross.
I'm not much better, but it only seems to bug me. I need to clean my garage mess, so I'm no poster child of cleanliness.
But the common area being that gross is sad. They order shit from Amazon and just leave all the boxes in the hallway. Then make a big fuck off dinner and leave all the pots in the sink "to soak" for days and days.
Both of their rooms create a stench of sweat and old food so strong that it has permeated the upstairs, and my room is fighting tooth and nail to smell not like shit.
I let them know that it's yucky. House was clean for like a week. House is now stinky again, as they blame tiredness and play MMOs all day.
Lick my butthole, I say.