Touching My Upper Colon
Bidet.
I broke my bidet at my parents house. Let me explain.
The bidet has 2 settings.
- Butthole - Single jet of water, aimed at your butthole.
- Pussy - Shower jet, power washes your balls and gooch.
I do not have a pussy, nor do I need the back of my balls sprayed protest-style. I decided to hook up a douche hose on the pussy sprayer instead (to make it actually useful for me).
Hose went on surprisingly easy, and I turned the knob on the bidet to see if it worked.
It didn't. The rubber gasket blocks the water from entering the hose on the now-beheaded nozzle. The original pussy sprayer now sprays a fork of water; one with such pressure that it exits the toilet seat and soaks the shower curtain and trash can.
In my tinkering, I also twisted the butthole cleaner (separate nozzle) to see if it was any different. It's now stuck at an angle that also sprays water all over the side of the toilet seat.
Now I have a bidet that cleans neither ball nor hole, but curtain and floor.
Rubber.
I can cram something so far up my GI tract that it is visible from the outside of my stomach. It's a fetish that leaves me wondering if I'm going to die the next day. Still alive, so I think I'm doing things right.
It's horrifically alien - which rocks.
After ruining the bidet, doing things the old fashioned way, and enjoying a literally-visceral and giger-esq time alone, I really wanted to make a picross puzzle.
So I did - I even made the little gradients for the number dividers. If you solve it, there is a reward.
Give it a shot! I recommend opening it in MS Paint and using the fill bucket tool.
Another tip: Use a lighter color to mark spaces that don't have a block in them with a lighter color to keep things pretty for yourself.
If you don't know how to play picross, sorry. Let me know if you don't know how to play and maybe I'll make a tutorial.
Here's one that does a pretty good job of explaining how to play.