Sgt. Balls reporting for doody
A poem
Are there any good guys? Like, the rich pedophile billionaires that run the country; are there any good ones that aren't pushing for an authoritarian rule over the country?
I hope so!
A Blow'em
In my desperation and loneliness, I have begun wearing the single right-ear earring in hopes of attracting a mate, like a skinny-fat bird of paradise.
I finally got the earring in after not wearing one for like 3 years. I had to push it through a layer of scar tissue, hearing a pop as it finally pierced through.
There's this ren and stimpy clip of someone dry shaving and biting down on a block of wood; that's what it felt like, because I'm not well versed in jewelry insertion.
Wait it was Billy and Mandy. It's Billy's dad dry shaving, and counting the strokes like pushups.
I also buzzed my hair recently, and the earring helps with the feeling of twink-death. Err, it was more of a twink-suicide. I need to get my sides done so my head won't be so football-shaped.
The earring has left a beautiful dark green ring in my ear, because it's cheap shit from hot topic.
If I do end up finding someone, I'll try to make a sound logical decision, and really vet them. Not instantly start dry humping on their couch with the new spiderman movie playing on the tv, from a pirate movie site... Their dog barking outside, them yelling at the dog to shut up, my phone blowing up with work-slack messages, the smell of old Panda Express from dinner, and the scratchiness of their couch-futon covered in dog hair.
Actually that doesn't sound too bad.
Who knows!