Quitting.
Here I sit-
with my one week notice written up in an Outlook email draft. I'm scared. It feels like that feeling right before breaking up with someone. It feels like I'm about to jump off the ledge.
"Hello –
This is my one week notice of resignation.
Thank you for the opportunity to build my skills and career here at Company and MSP.
My last day here will be 2/21/25.
Signature with my name"
That's it. That's my notice.
My coworkers have been in my fucking ear all day for whatever reason. Questions upon questions about shit that I don't know the answer to. The new guy who doesn't understand a single concept about video conferencing support. My boss seeing me stress out and try to fix the broken giant amphitheater before the meeting in an hour, and then asking me if I see that she's eating poke...
It's like the tides have shifted today to work me into pulling the "I quit." trigger.
I haven't sent it yet. I'm very scared. Normal people work until the grave.
Is 2 months off too much?
Will I squander that time, and drink myself to death?
Will I ever find work again?
Will I commit to my creative endeavors?
On the other hand, there are positives that I feel like I need.
Can I work on myself, for once? Can I truly feel happy? Can I feel like, for once, my day will not be an utter waste of my life? Can I travel?
I have to hold myself accountable during my gap. If I don't, I fear the worst; depression, drugs, booze, self-kill, getting fat... It's an irrational fear -
...
I was interrupted by my coworker just trying to ask about muting a mic via teams from some 3rd party app and I lost my train of thought. I'll make tomorrow the day if I have the balls.
But yeah I wanna do art and chill and be a cool ass guy just hanging out for a break. That's it really.
It'll be sweet, or terrifying.
All I know is that I gotta get out of this job.
Hell yeah.