I've decided not to have sex with my bike anymore.
No More Ass Pain
As per my last post about getting a colonoscopy and vasectomy every bike ride, I have fixed the issue as of last night!
I stole parts from my room mate's MTB!
His bike has a saddle clamp that is similar to my broken one. I had the idea while slamming through some PBRs with my other room mate in the garage.
Stealing rocks!
I only had a small compatibility issue, due to my bike being made in 1972. The seat post is a little under an inch in diameter, and is much smaller than modern seat posts.
But, thankfully I fell off the sobriety-horse for now, and was drinking beer!
I cut a beer can and made a nice shim for the seat post.
Now my saddle is rock solid, and no longer performs CBT after every bump in the road.
A part of me will miss the sensation of being sexually harassed by my bike though... Almost as if it liked surprising me with a quick ass-fucking with a hint of cock and ball evisceration.