I Have Road Particulates in My Skin.
Dirty.
So far, my week has been good. I'm starting to realize what I can hyper focus on, and what I'm deterred from doing in regards to gamedev. Engine stuff and programming sucks the life out of me, especially when I can't figure something out. It makes me feel like I have to watch another 300 videos on the subject just to figure out a thing that takes 3 seconds to implement.
I don't have a coding/engine workflow at all yet. I end up spending way too much time researching, then feel exhausted by the time I want to implement some code. But, baby steps are most likely the way to do things.
I set some to-dos at the beginning of this week, and got a little bit of each one done.
Got a pause menu working, with ESC as the input. It can resume and quit the game.
Fiddle-fucked with the player movement, and camera.
Got an NPC mesh in, and it looks at the player when in range (rudimentarily). I think attaching the look_at func to a 3d node, then having the NPC's head slerp toward it would be much smoother. Slerp-ing back to the origin works.
Got a nice model done while experimenting with texture implementation.
So far, so slow. I'm okay with it though, as this is probably all part of the process maybe I dunno.
Flirty.
I've been staying strong to my goal of not looking at social media at all during my employment break. The quite nights have been a little rough; lots of racing thoughts.
But something happened to my head that I had zero foresight for.
Boredom.
Real, uninterrupted boredom.
I feel like I did when I was a kid during summer breaks.
Without constant discord or youtube or spotify or twitter, life is very quiet and slow.
I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling in silence. It hit me then. A forgotten feeling of something unexplainable. Some strange nostalgic feeling of peace. I had nothing to do, and it was okay.
I could feel the heat radiating from my wall as the sun started to bake it. The sound of cars driving by. The muffled chirps of someone watching TV downstairs.
It's hard not to pick up the phone constantly, or watch videos in the background all day.
This probably sounds stupid, but I dare you to try it. If you don't look at consumption-based media all day, then I agree that I sound like a jackass.
But if you feel that urge; the urge to just look at the phone, as one would open a fridge for no reason, then you might need to take a break.
It's not world-ending, life-ruining, or fomo-generating to not look at the little TVs in your pocket or on your desk all day, as I've found out.
I'm still working on my PC - so the screen is still in my life. But only using it as a tool, and thinking of it as such has helped too.
Also jacking off is way better now for some reason. Explain that shit, Einstein.