Gonna Suck A Chode in The Party Zone
Fanfiction.net
I like self-indulgent art. It feels good to give in once in a while and sperg-out on some nonsense only you'd find nice.
Locking in on a self ship or an OC redesign really gets me going. Be it drawing, 3D, or writing; once in a while I'll find myself flopping back into the warm cushions of my brain-couch.
Doing so takes me back to middle school and high school, when I'd read web comics and make fan art for viddy games. As cringe as it would look to an outsider, inserting yourself into stories feels great.
I've always been a sucker for the troubled or annoying character phenotypes.
Jessica from Housepets, Sid from Ice Age, Tank Girl and Booga, Roger Rabbit, Fisk from Better Days, Juuichi and Kouya from Morenatsu ... I read a lot of furry shit as a youngin' and it ruined my brain.
Oh how nice it would be to hold Burgerpants in my arms and tell him it's going to be okay.
I'd happily get choke-slammed by Bowser in an attempt to get him to like me :')
...
I may draw that Burgerpants thing actually.
The closest thing to having gay sex-
Is riding a bike, and the seat angle slips; forcing the seat to tilt up and fuck you in the asshole.
That has been my life the past few rides. I've tried to tighten the saddle clamp (fucker) with all of my anger and might as a greasy man, and it still slips into my colon after the tiniest of bumps.
I checked the saddle clamp last night, and the teeth are stripped.
It's like 2 pairs of discs that are squeezed together with a bolt, and the discs have teeth to lock into each other. Big L, because I REALLY want to get my wiggles out and ride.
...
Well, the seat just tilts back, mashing my nuts into my abdomen. I have a pretty toned asshole, so I squanch forward and force the nose of the seat down with it.
It's the slowest, most frustrating gay sex of all time.
My new awesome riding routine:
- Seat tilts up, fucking my balls.
- Lean forward, and insert seat into my asshole to adjust.
- Repeat.
This ordeal has made me look at non-vintage steel frame bikes. Vintage is too hard to find easily-accessible parts for.
I want a Crust Lightning, or a Rivendell Appaloosa frame to build up. It'd be my first "new bike". I'm a resto-mod fan, but having a modern steel frame that I can actually find parts for at a bike shop sounds fantabulous.
I want a gravel grinder with tight tires, a 2x DT, bar-end shifters, and flared drops with some cloth tape.
And a saddle clamp that doesn't beg to fuck my ass.