A guide on surviving our modern hellscape.
Chapter One.
Give up.
What are you gonna do, you know?
Keep worrying?
When's last time you stared at some clouds? Grabbed a fist full of dirt? Smelled fresh laundry while walking down the street?
Stop purposely looking at things you know will make you mad I guess. You're an outrage addict.
You're gonna end up crashing out on someone you love-
-or dying from hypertension.
Don't mind if I diddly-do.
So far, I'm really feeling things out with accountability. I have not held myself to it fully yet. I love thinking about grandiose goals when I'm not home, but as soon as I'm home I want to drink. It doesn't feel like self control in the moment, it feels like if I don't start drinking then I wont have any fun. Like I'm wasting my time if I don't drink.
Maybe that's what self control feels like, and I just need to get used to that fact that not every day has to be a party.
I forget that this is what my dad does.
...
But seriously though. Have you ever smelled laundry from outside somewhere? Like it teleports you to some young memory. Maybe your house, or your friend's house when you were a kid, and the detergent they used left an impression on your memory.
I get that nostalgic blast from the smell of grilled onions too.